Workplace Relationships: Why Employees Are Not Your Family (And That's Okay!)
The Argument about calling your employees with the ”F" word!
The debate over whether to call your employees "family" is a topic of great controversy. While some may argue that it fosters a sense of camaraderie and loyalty, others believe it can be problematic for various reasons. Here are a few reasons why referring to your employees as "family" may not be the best approach.
Reason 1
It’s Potentially alienating!
Not everyone is looking for a family at work. Some of us prefer to keep things professional. We want to get paid punctually, be respected and go home on time.
By insisting on having “Family-like” relationships at the workplace, you make the environment at your company uncomfortable for those who prefer to keep things professional.
We don’t need work spouses /brothers/sisters/parents to whom we have moral obligations. Our real families and friends already give us that sense of belonging for many of us.
Reason 2
In a family, relationships are built on love and acceptance, which means there are no expectations or performance evaluations. This is not the case in a work environment where performance and productivity are essential for business success.
No Boss has ever said, It’s okay even if you don’t perform, I will look after you because you are family, and I love you. That is why you don’t set KPIs or conduct performance appraisals for your family and let go of them when they don’t meet expectations.
On the other hand, Work relationships are fundamentally transactional. The employee does the work they were hired to do and expects a salary for their efforts. Once the work stops, the money does too.
Would you continue to pay someone a salary without expecting anything in return? If the answer is “No”, then probably we should not call them family.
Reason 3
Referring to your employees as "family" implies long-term loyalty, which can be unrealistic in today's job market. With many employees switching jobs regularly, the expectation of lifelong commitment can create undue pressure and guilt.
It's quite different for workplaces. Employees working for the same company for a long time could be a relic of the past. These days, companies have no problems dismissing employees when it doesn’t benefit them – even if they’ve worked there for a long time.
“Time to go! Your skills are no longer relevant!”
Thus, it’s normal for employees to have several jobs over their lifetime.
This may cause them to miss out on other opportunities and growth in the short term.
In the long term, they may stagnate and become overly dependent on the company.
That’s a lose-lose situation for everyone.
“Most Loyal Family Employee”
Reason 4
When bosses refer to their employees as family, there is often an implicit expectation that family members will go above and beyond for each other. However, this can create an imbalance and result in resentment or burnout.
In the work context, this means things like “Responding to emails after hours,” working while on leave or doing things beyond their job scope.
But, when you call people “Family”, it can’t be pure lip service – there’s also the expectation that you reciprocate.
“Hey Boss, My Insurance can’t cover my medical fees. Can you help me out? AS FAMILY?? In the long term, discerning employees will be able to sense the insincerity, and you’ll find it hard to retain talent.
Does that mean that workplaces need to be cold and uncaring? Not necessarily.
Your employees will never be your family. But we can create workplaces that people love coming to. How?
Here are three ways to help!
Respecting Boundaries!
Accept that the relationship will always be transactional on some level. Employees WILL have personal pursuits beyond their full-time jobs!
Investing in them
Investing in employees' growth means spending on their development, providing resources for reskilling, and letting them shift their capabilities within the company. Accepting that people may leave and respecting their decisions shows that the company cares about their growth and development, even if it means letting them go.
Thinking from the employer’s POV, the most common response to this is
What if I spend time and money training my employee to be better, only for them to leave my company?
Accept that people may leave and respect their decisions.
Your employees will likely not work for you forever, even if you treat them well and invest in their growth.
People outgrow places. Or there are better opportunities elsewhere. Or Maybe they just want to try something new.
After all, in the long run, how you treat people will determine who works for you and who comes back to work for you.Content inspired by HBR's article "The Toxic Effects of Branding Your Workplace a Family" and The Woke Salaryman Newsletter. Images sourced from Freepik.com
Hey,
Each week, I write and send you a newsletter to bring you up to speed with the information I think you might find interesting.
Do you want me to write about you or an interesting story of yours?
Or are there any particular stories you want me to cover? Not only will your response give me great ideas, but it will also enable me to understand how we can improve the newsletter reading experience.
Just respond to this mail, and let me know :)
- If you enjoyed reading this, please share it with your friends. I want to grow this community as much as I can. (Psst, if you share it on LinkedIn or Twitter, do tag me so I can engage with you)
- If this e-mail was forwarded to you and you liked what you read, you can subscribe to Weekly Writamins by AK by clicking here. It’s free, and I send only one mail per week.
- Most importantly, if WWAK didn’t land in your primary inbox, please move it from your social/promotions tab to your primary inbox, so you never miss any of my emails.
See you next week,
AK
